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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29736759">The devil's in the details (but you got a friend in me)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/plxmerias/pseuds/plxmerias'>plxmerias</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Community (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Britta Perry realizes she's a lesbian, Coming Out, Compulsory Heterosexuality, F/F, Gen, Lesbian Britta Perry, Mostly Gen, Non explicit mentions of sex with men., POV Britta Perry, POV Second Person, Pre-Slash, can be read as romantic or platonic, lesbian Annie Edison, set in s2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 20:53:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,515</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29736759</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/plxmerias/pseuds/plxmerias</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Compulsory heterosexuality. A term you had not heard of until sophomore year of community college. Annie had explained it after coming out to the study group – and being bombarded with dumb questions, but that was a given with your friends – she had allowed you all to ask questions, if you felt inclined, except Pierce, for obvious reasons.<br/>-<br/>Annie comes out to the study group, an already questioning Britta has questions.</p>
<p>(Rated T mostly for language and non-explicit mentions of sex)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Annie Edison &amp; Britta Perry, Annie Edison/Britta Perry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The devil's in the details (but you got a friend in me)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>No beta, all mistakes are my own.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>Compulsory heterosexuality.</em> A term you had not heard of until sophomore year of community college. Annie had explained it after coming out to the study group – and being bombarded with dumb questions, but that was a given with your friends – she had allowed you all to ask questions, if you felt inclined, except Pierce, for obvious reasons.</p>
<p>“Didn’t you like Jeff, though?” had asked Shirley</p>
<p>At this, you perked up your ears, you would not have asked her that, but you still wanted to know. Annie did not even flinch when Shirley asked her, she just smiled and explained.</p>
<p>“Well, I didn’t really <em>like</em> Jeff, I just thought I did” she said, “It’s actually a pretty common thing among lesbians, it’s called compulsory heterosexuality!” she finished</p>
<p>You wanted her to explain more, you wanted to ask her what that felt like, how she realised, how she found the term, what she looked up to be sure. You knew she would have looked through the library to find something to explain how she felt.</p>
<p>“Cool, so does this mean you’ll get a girlfriend?” Abed started, “If yes, are we obligated to add her to the group, or will it be more of a background character we reference and sometimes see?”</p>
<p>“Abed, I don’t think that’s how- “</p>
<p>“I don’t know yet Abed” Annie interrupted Jeff “When, or if, I get a girlfriend I’ll let you know”</p>
<p>“Cool. Cool, cool, cool.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>It was not until days later that you built up the courage to ask her how she knew, you hadn’t wanted to put her on the spot with the group, okay, that’s a lie, you did not want to be <em>near</em> the group when you asked her, whatever.</p>
<p>Annie usually stayed last in the study room, methodically putting her pens back into her little pouch, and then organising her books in her bag. You approached her when she was closing it, happy with her work.</p>
<p>“Annie, could I-” you stopped, <em>fuck this was hard!</em></p>
<p>She looked at you, waiting for the complete question, you averted her eyes, choosing instead to look at the roof.</p>
<p>“Can I ask you something?” you settled for.</p>
<p>“Okay.” She replied, hesitant, the two of you were not exactly friends, you were in the same study group, sure, you could talk to each other and maintain a conversation, but other than that, you didn’t actively look for each other, you didn’t bicker the way you did with Jeff, or made fun of other people like you did with Shirley.</p>
<p>“How, um, how did you <em>know</em>?” You could not even bring yourself to say it. <em>Pathetic</em>.</p>
<p>“Know what?” Maybe Annie was playing dumb, maybe she knew what you were trying to ask her</p>
<p>“You know, that you, um, liked <em>women</em>?” The ‘women’ came out as more of a whisper, you just hoped she would not question why you were asking her, specially <em>why</em> you waited for everyone else to leave before you asked.</p>
<p>You did not expect her to give you a soft smile and a knowing look. <em>Fuck</em>, you thought yet again.</p>
<p>“I realised women felt crushes differently than I did, they felt things about men I never felt,” she continued “I realised that what they were describing were the things I felt towards other women”</p>
<p>“Like, what?” you prodded, if you were going to ask her, you might as well go all in.</p>
<p>“You know how I liked Troy?” you nodded.</p>
<p>“He was everything you’re supposed to like in a man, he was, I mean is, handsome, he was the star football player, he was popular.” She stopped “But he was unattainable, he wouldn’t notice me, I liked the <em>idea</em> of him, not <em>him</em>.”</p>
<p>Your heart skipped a beat, as you nodded again, it couldn’t be, could it?</p>
<p>“Britta are you okay?” Not really listening to her anymore you got up, needing to get out of there.</p>
<p>“Thanks, Annie.”</p>
<p>If you were going to have a breakdown it would be in private, you probably mumbled an apology and left, but it would not be surprising to learn that you did no such thing.</p>
<p>But there was no breakdown, you just repressed everything, and avoided thinking about it. The usual.</p>
<p>Everything was fine, you did not have an epiphany, nothing had changed, you were still a straight woman who liked men, a lot, you liked men very much.</p>
<p>Annie did not question your behaviour the following day.</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <em>You had sex with Jeff.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You had, arguably terrible, sex with Jeff.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You had terrible sex with Jeff and didn’t enjoy it one bit.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>This meant nothing, right?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Right.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Maybe Jeff is just really bad at it? That is a possibility.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>That must be it, right?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>This had nothing to do with whether you were attracted to men, which you were, are, you are, you like men, right?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You have to like men.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>That’s you, Britta, the man-liking woman.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Right?</em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>Annie knew you were avoiding her. To be fair, you went from speaking with her every now and then, to barely looking at her. It was rather obvious.</p>
<p>Abed had asked you about it.</p>
<p>“Are you homophobic?”</p>
<p>“What?” you replied, faking confusion.</p>
<p>“You’re avoiding Annie since she came out,” he stated, “so you either fought, or you are uncomfortable with her being a lesbian.”</p>
<p>“Abed, it’s really not that simple”</p>
<p>“Of course it is. If you’re not homophobic, you need to fix whatever issues you have with her, or it’s gonna end up harming the group dynamic” With that he walked away.</p>
<p>How would you explain that you massively embarrassed yourself, and she now knew something you hadn’t wanted to accept yet?</p>
<p>Yeah, maybe you should talk to Annie.</p>
<p>Or, you could wait until she came to you.</p>
<p>You already knew what you would do.</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <em>You told Jeff you loved him.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>In front of the whole school.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>God, you were never going to live this down.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It’s not that what you said was fake, you did like him. You had to, right? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He was unattainable, you knew that, maybe that’s exactly why you did it, because you knew he wouldn’t share your feelings.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It’s possible that you could have done so to embarrass him.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You don’t even understand why you did it, or if you meant it.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>This was love though, right?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You wanted him to like you and you wanted to spend time with him, that was love, wasn’t it?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Sure, you didn’t like him 60 percent of the time, but your parents were the same way, and they loved each other.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And yeah, you didn’t actually want to have sex with him again, once was more than enough. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It’s not that you were possessive of your friend and had unresolved abandonment issues, that couldn’t be.</em>
</p>
<p><em>Once you got home, you drank to forget. Thinking that maybe if you forgot, you could push back down everything that was threatening to come out – pun very much </em>not<em> intended – and forget about it yet again. </em></p>
<p>
  <em>It didn’t work.</em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>Annie came to you two days after Abed questioned you.</p>
<p>“Britta, we need to talk.” The solemn tone in her voice scared you, you started thinking of excuses you could use as to why you reacted like <em>that</em>.</p>
<p>She guided you to a bench outside the library.</p>
<p>“Are you okay?”</p>
<p>“Yeah! I’m just peachy!” Your voice pitched. So much for being nonchalant about it.</p>
<p>She gave you a stern look, you looked away. What were you even supposed to say?</p>
<p>She would understand, probably better than anyone else, but she was young, she hadn’t wasted her life forcing herself to like men, how embarrassing was that?</p>
<p>You didn’t like asking for help, you didn’t want to, and now you were in a position where she, someone 10 years younger than you, was ahead of you, she had figured it all out.</p>
<p>You were <em>supposed</em> to be the one who knew shit about the world. For fuck’s sake you lived in <em>New York</em>!</p>
<p>And now the only thing you had over her, real world experience, was gone?</p>
<p>It wasn’t a competition, you knew that, but it was maddening to be dunked on constantly about how you weren’t smart enough, or organised enough, or just weren’t enough. How you could barely keep up with community college classes, how you were a fake activist – you were, but they didn’t have to <em>say</em> it – how you were a…</p>
<p>You still couldn’t say it.</p>
<p>To the study group, you were the dumb blonde.</p>
<p>But you had real world experience. You may be a high school drop-out, one-eyed cat owner, faux anarchist, blonde bitch, sure, your life may be a complete disaster, but you were confident in your sexuality, you, Britta Perry, were a straight ally, who liked men, and <em>only</em> men.</p>
<p>You were going in circles.</p>
<p>“I like men” you said, more to yourself than to her “I do, I really do” you faced away from her, knowing she was pitying you. Last semester she thought you were so cool, ‘<em>The coolest girl she’s ever met</em>’ if you recall correctly.</p>
<p>You didn’t want to cry, and looking at her would make you cry, you couldn’t do that, this was embarrassing enough already.  </p>
<p>Annie grabbed your hand, giving it a little reassuring squeeze, her thumb drawing soothing circles.</p>
<p>“I have to.” Voice breaking, you felt your eyes getting wet. Any time now the tears would fall. You couldn’t even commit to not crying, how pathetic.</p>
<p>“That’s me. I’m straight.” tears streaming down your face, you said “I have to be.”</p>
<p>“<em>Oh Britta</em>” Annie scooted closer to you and wrapped her arms around you, how long had it been since someone held you?</p>
<p>You cried into her shirt, embarrassed to be seen by anyone, including her, so you hid your face, like you hid everything else.</p>
<p>Her body was warm against yours, the soft fabric of her cardigan now soaked, ‘<em>God, that’s embarrassing</em>’ you thought. Her hands periodically rubbed circles around your back as you sobbed.</p>
<p>Once you stopped crying, you would ask yourself, how you would be able to face Annie next time you saw her. You had broken down right in front of her, yet again, it was starting to feel like a tradition of sorts.</p>
<p>She asked if you wanted to go somewhere to talk more privately.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“I just,” a heavy sigh left you “I don’t know how to put it into words”</p>
<p>You had gone to a coffee shop near campus, close enough to walk there, but far away enough to not be surrounded by other Greendale students.</p>
<p>“You don’t have to” She was drinking a caramel macchiato, with extra caramel and extra whipped cream, how <em>Annie</em> of her, you thought.</p>
<p>“I want to!” You did. “I really do!”</p>
<p>Words had never been your forte, neither had feelings. So, putting your feelings into words? A big fucking challenge.</p>
<p>“You can take your time” She had taken the lid off her drink and grabbed a shaker to eat the whipped cream, “Do you want me to stay quiet while you do it, or do you want me to make small talk?”</p>
<p>God, she was really fucking thoughtful.</p>
<p>“Um, I’d rather it was quiet” you said adding a little <em>please</em> afterwards.</p>
<p>She just nodded and went back to her drink.</p>
<p>You had barely touched yours, a vanilla latte, courtesy of Annie, she had insisted on buying it for you, on the condition that she could pick the flavour, you let her.</p>
<p>You took your time, thinking of how exactly to get there. The periodical slurp serving as background noise.</p>
<p>“It’s just that,” you began “you have figured it out already, you haven’t wasted your life trying to fit in by not fitting in, y’know?”</p>
<p>“You are not that old, Britta” she said with a pointed look.</p>
<p>“Yeah, but I might as well commit to it, right?” She tilted her head “It’s like,”</p>
<p>How do you even word it?</p>
<p>“It’s like,” a small pause “It’s like, I’ve spent all my adult life liking men, I have to keep it up, otherwise, I would just have wasted my life.”</p>
<p>That made sense, right?</p>
<p>You were already tired, feeling your feelings was exhausting, you didn’t even think you could cry again, you were emotionally drained, but needed to get this out.</p>
<p>“And I’m already a failure in every other aspect of my life.” Ok, you were getting a little too deep now, you breathed in before continuing, “I can’t, Annie, I’m not brave like you”</p>
<p>“You are” She grabbed your hand for the second time that day.</p>
<p>“You don’t have to lie Annie, I am not.”</p>
<p>“Stop selling yourself short Britta!” with newfound confidence she started “You’re a really amazing person who isn’t afraid to tell other what they really think!”</p>
<p>“What am I even supposed to say? ‘Hey everyone, I know I have dated men and I did sleep with Jeff, but guess what? Pierce was right!’ That’s ridiculous, I can’t do that, they already make enough fun of me as it is, I’m already the butt of every single joke.” You sighed, “Do you remember how it was after I told Jeff I loved him in the Transfer dance? I can’t deal with something like that again.” You ranted</p>
<p>“It’s just, <em>fuck</em>, how am I even supposed to know if I do like women? What if I’m just like, faking this?”</p>
<p>“Look, Britta, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, if you don’t want to come out to the group, don’t. If you don’t want to say it out loud, don’t.” She absentmindedly drew circles around your hand “But at least be honest with yourself, you deserve to be happy, you shouldn’t have to force yourself to be into something you don’t like” her tone was soft, you didn’t know what you expected, maybe to be knocked down again, but definitely not for her to offer her support so openly.</p>
<p>“If you want to talk to me, about anything, I’m here for you” she gave your hand a little squeeze before grabbing her drink again, you wished she would’ve kept it there for longer.</p>
<p>“Can I ask you something though? It’s okay if you don’t want to answer” Annie asked and toyed with her straw.</p>
<p>“Sure, shoot”</p>
<p>“Why did you sleep with Jeff?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know, he was there, and he wanted me, and I think that was enough for me” you answered truthfully, you didn’t mention how it was on the study room table, she didn’t need to know <em>that</em>.</p>
<p>“Oh Britta” she said with pity.</p>
<p>“It’s okay,” you go to correct yourself “I mean, it was not okay, like, at <em>all</em>” you laugh, maybe this was really going to be okay. “It was terrible.”</p>
<p>You still wouldn’t let yourself think about why exactly you were so angry at her over dating Vaughn; or acknowledge how it never was this easy to talk to anyone. You wouldn’t think about how much you liked having her hug you, or how warm having your hand in hers made you feel. Baby steps.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Kudos pay my rent, and comments are welcomed!<br/>I know a lot of people headcanon Britta as bisexual, but this idea just got into my head. <br/>This was my first time writing for the fandom, I hope i did okay.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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